“Gay” is a word, which was a taboo some time ago, but it has now become a common matter, with people becoming more aware about their sexual orientation. Moreover, they are bold enough to admit it in front of the whole wide world. Though there are stereotypes that if you dress, talk or behave in a certain way, you can be a gay, but it is better not to use these points as the criteria about how to tell if you are gay. You may realize that you are gay or straight at any point of time in your life; while some may learn about their preferences when they are young, others may take longer to do so. However, it is important to find it out, as you deserve to live the way you want to, rather than follow the norms set by the society. Let this be a matter of self-discovery rather than denial and shame. Discovering your sexual orientation is lot more “straighter” now and a few things about yourself can help you determine it all.
How To Tell If You Are A Gay?
Here is a checklist of questions that help you tell if you are a gay or not:
1. Have You Ever Felt An Attraction For The Same Sex?
Primarily, here is how to tell if you are a gay. The definition of gay covers all those individuals who have felt drawn to the same sex. In case you have had such feelings at any point of time, remember that it is perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong about it. Learn to identify your feelings, as you may be attracted to the same sex and towards the opposite sex, which makes you bisexual in orientation.
2. Have You Been Fantasizing About A Person About The Same Sex?
Having fantasies about someone, you are attracted to is a normal human behavior, and it can be about the opposite sex or the same sex. At the same time, it is important to remember that fantasizing about a sexual relationship does not always imply that you are gay, unless you do it all the time. Repeatedly thinking about having sex with same sex person is an indication that you could be gay.
3. Have You Had A “Different And Special” Feeling For A Friend Or Acquaintance Of The Same Sex?
Another way to tell if you are a gay or not, is to analyze your behavior and feelings, particularly if you feel something special for a friend and acquaintance of the same sex. This special feeling may set him apart from the rest of your peer group and make you desire to be alone that person. Possessiveness and excitement on being with this person are the traits of a gay relationship in the making.
4. Has The Bonding Between The Two Of You Been Emotion As Well, Besides Being Physical?
A gay relationship is not confined to the physical and sexual part only but goes much beyond that. in fact, if you feel that you share a special emotional bond with the person of the same sex, in addition to a strong physical affinity, chances are high that you are in for a gay relationship. The comfort level in such cases will definitely be greater with a person of the same sex rather than someone from the opposite sex.
5. Have You Ever Had A Gay Encounter?
When you are set at determining whether you are gay or not, you have to keep an open mind for getting an accurate conclusion. For instance, if you have a homosexual encounter once, it cannot be a yardstick to determine whether you are gay or not because many people do it as an experiment rather than a habit. The true test is that if you want to do it repeatedly or have a long history in such encounters, the answer to the question is yes and you are actually gay. Don’t take sexual orientation as a switch in your brain, which can be turned in any direction as you come across different situations in life. In fact, your heart will know and will tell you. All you have to do is to learn to listen to your instincts to find your identity.
6. Are You Aware Of The Right Definition Of Gay?
Another factor which will help you know, whether you are gay or not is awareness. You have to know the exact definition of gay to find out if you fall into that category. Sexuality is something you are born with, rather than something, which you can be programmed to. A gay or homosexual person is the one who is attracted towards the same sex and has no feelings for a person of opposite sex. Both the aspects of this definition need to be realized to make sure that you are gay. The fact is that if a person feels attracted to both the sexes, he is not a gay, but a bisexual. A straight or heterosexual is the one who is attracted for the opposite sex but has no attraction towards the same sex. Proper understanding of the definition is essential to find out your sexual orientation.
7. Have You Ever Been Aroused By A Same Sex Person?
For knowing whether you are a gay or straight, you need to be sure if a same sex person has ever aroused you. Come out of the preconceived notion that you will feel sexually aroused by a nude picture of the opposite sex, as it may be exactly the opposite if your gay. It is important to be honest with your feelings and not to make a decision to please others.
In conclusion, it is important to say that sexuality is entirely a matter of personal choice rather than social decision-making. Therefore, one should not be influenced by the norms of the society or the stereotypes while determining it. It is a vital decision, which traces the direction your life is likely to take. Ignoring your sexual preference and going with the social norms will give you nothing but dissatisfaction and unhappiness in your life. Therefore, self-discovery is important and you will definitely get support eventually, once you make the right decision.