Soon after a breakup, you would be having an emotionally difficult time. Until your breakup, you would not have realized the depth of your love for your partner. After this devastating experience from your breakup, all you want is some idea on how to get your ex back – Here are some tips that really work.
How To Win Your Ex Back?
Soon after your breakup, you should take a short break. Take a day off from work to deal with the tons of different emotions that you are facing. Let this break help you to cool down. Make use of this time to reflect on the situation. Try to pinpoint the issue by asking yourself questions such as where did it go wrong? Was it my mistake? Did we both commit faults? Once you pinpoint why the breakup arose, you can find a way to fix it up. You should also find out if there is a legitimate reason for you to get back together. The following are not valid grounds to get an ex back:
- Saying that you will die without her or him
- Saying that she or he is your entire life
- Thinking that you will never find someone better than her or him
- Feeling that you cannot be happy staying alone
- Thinking that situations will get better next time
While the above are the not acceptable reasons for getting your ex back, there are some valid grounds for getting back your ex. These include:
- The decision to breakup was taken rashly
- The big fight that you both had was the main cause for the breakup
- During your relationship, you were happy almost all the time of your togetherness
- Both of you are in seek of the same things in life
So, based on the above, try to figure out what caused the breakup and whether the relationship should be fixed or not. If your answer is in the positive, then move on to find out how to get your ex back. Even if it is otherwise, the below given info may be of use to you.
2. Be Strong
Soon after a breakup, one tends to become desperate and tensed. Your mind might be constantly coming up with ideas on how to get back your ex back. This may be expressed as begging your partner to forgive you and get back to you. However, this is a big mistake. Such kind of desperateness will only repel your partner further away from you. So, instead of exhibiting your weakness, try to stay strong during this bad time.
You can cope with your breakup by allowing yourself a brief period of grief during which you can cry your heart out in your room alone. For this, you can take a day or two. That will be enough. After this, eat healthy food; take good care of yourself; pamper yourself; surround yourself with the people you love; forgive yourself and your ex; appreciate life;
3. Allow A “No Contact” Period
For about 30 days from the day of your break up, it is important to keep no contact with your partner. The period following a breakup is usually tense, and any talks held during this period can worsen up things. Completely avoid contacting or responding to him or her via texts, mails, Facebook, etc. Also, do not listen to anything he or she says about you. And never show any interest in what he or she is up to. So, during this period of negative emotional peak, do not make any contact with your partner. Take enough time to work on yourself. Cool down so that you can think over things rationally. This gap will also kindle the curiosity in your ex. He or she may even start missing you. If he or she tries to contact you via a text or call during this period, simply ignore. In case you break this 30 days no contact rule, start it all over again.
During this no contact period:
- Do not sleep all day long
- Do not let everyone know that you have broken up with your ex
- Do not stay confined to your home
- Do not drink excessively
- Do not make important life decisions
4. Have Fun
Having fun is important after a breakup in order to keep up with life. Contact your friends, go out with them, or involve yourself in social activities lest depression takes over you. You should also get involved in little pleasurable activities like taking a bubble bath, having a foot massage, or enjoying a delicious dinner. This will enable you to rediscover happiness.
5. Incorporate Positive Changes In You
During this period, it is necessary that you take good care of yourself and implement some positive changes I you. These changes should be both physical and mental. The physical changes that you can implement are changing your hairstyle, getting in shape, shifting to a healthy diet, updating your wardrobe, having a dental clean up, getting a facial done, etc. These are sure to have a good effect on your over all being. Implementing mental changes are important for calming you down, relieving your mental tension, and healing you emotionally. Here is how you can do this:
- Concentrate on your work: This distracts your mind from your personal life for a while. But be careful that you do not over involve yourself that you become a “career first” kind of person, and lose your goal while you are at it.
- Renew your hobby: Renew anything you just love doing. It may be chess, tennis, collecting, puzzles, photography, hiking, or music. The basic thing is to have fun.
- Write a diary: A few days ago, you might have spent a lot of your time talking with your partner. His or her absence in your life in the recent days might have left numerous thoughts running inside you. It is a good idea to pen down your thoughts in a diary.
- Get social: Get out with friends and involve yourself in-group activities. This is the best thing that can heal your mind after a breakup.
- Reconnect with friends and folks: Open your heart to friends and family members who really care about you. They can help you cope through this bad time that you are going through. But ensure that they do not persuade you into calling you ex before the end of the no contact period.