Women are usually faithful, loyal and trustworthy to their husbands. This is mostly because they have been taught to be good right from childhood. They know well how to grin and bear it all, and say all things nice. But in some unfortunate situations, some women do not behave true to what is usually expected as their nature. A statistical survey by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy (conducted in the year 2012) conveys that 14% of women have cheated on their husbands. Men find it difficult to accept the reality when they say my wife cheated on me. This article outlines the top reasons why wives cheat.
Why Do Wives Cheat On Their Husbands?
1. Lack Of Attention And Intimacy
Women in general need and long for emotional and mental attention, and intimacy. If a wife does not receive this from her husband, she starts seeking it extra martially. The duration for which women can go without attention differs from person to person. It can take just a matter of days for some women, while months for some, and years for some others. Women, who are deprived of attention, compassion and compliments, usually get involved in emotional affairs. This does not mean that it won’t lead to sexual activities at all. But initially such deprived women yearn and seek for attention and compassion from extra marital sources.
When wives find that their husbands are cheating on them, they find it quite difficult to forgive. They feel hurt, deceived, angry, numb, sad and violated. Besides, their self esteem is also affected. It clearly affects their relationship, behavior, mood, and trust in marriage. Many of them want to take revenge on their husbands in order to make them feel what they felt like. A wife cheats under such circumstances at times. However, the truth is, cheating is never the solution to a relationship problem. Communicating; being passionate, romantic and assertive can offer a better solution.
3. Unsatisfying Sex
When asked “why do wives cheat?” Unsatisfying sex life is often stated as one of the most popular reasons. Women have a dire need to feel desired. They long to experience genuine orgasms during sex. If women do not get real sex, an emotionally satisfying one, they may start losing their relationship in their marital relationship, and start looking elsewhere for real sex. This tempts women to go in search of emotional or sexual satisfaction elsewhere. In cases where bad sex is the problem, it is recommended that wives communicate their needs to their men. This can be done with the help of a sex therapist, if needed. Taking some mediator’s help is better than crying saying “wife cheated on me”.
4. Plastic Surgery Or Weight Loss
A plastic surgery or weight loss in a woman makes her quite attractive to men. Besides, the self confidence level that gets boosted up tempts her to cheat. A higher level of self control is required to resist those. Upon realizing that another male is attracted towards her, a woman should get alarmed, be careful and act wisely to save her marriage and purity at all costs.
5. Financial Independence
In olden days, wives completely relied on their husbands for their financial need. They could not afford to break relationships. They had to fear being alone and unstable financially. Now that women have gained financial independence through earning, they feel no need to linger on an unfulfilling marital relationship. The power and independence provided by their earning thus tempt them to cheat.
6. Low Self Esteem
It is natural for people with a low self esteem to seek others’ validation of them. This validation can be in the form of emotional, intellectual or sexual attention. When a woman doesn’t value or love herself, she may tend to project that onto her husband, and believe that even he doesn’t love her. So, even if her husband loves her a lot, she may cheat because she finds it difficult to accept his unconditional love. Such women should read some good self help books on self esteem building. They can also sit for a counseling session to boost their self confidence.
7. Feeling Under Appreciated
Wives love a lot to please their husbands. They do a lot to be appreciated by their better parts. A few ways through which they try to win their men’s appreciations are through their cooking, dressing, caring, etc. They just want to hear an “I love you”, “thank you”, or “that was wonderful” from their husbands. Birthdays, celebrations and anniversaries come and go unnoticed by their hubbies. For years together when no appreciation is received, and the threshold level is reached, they start seeking these from another direction. The solution for this is that wives should let their husbands know that they may lose their wives if they are continually taken for granted. Else, such husbands would end up lamenting saying “my wife cheated on me”.
8. Getting Bored
Some women get bored with a husband who leads a monotonous life as it becomes their routine too. When he no more applies a good smelling perfume, does not wear good clothes, stays out of date, and just sleeps through the weekends, they get bored with experiencing the same thing over and over again. This distances them from their husbands. They then start fantasizing about enjoying someone else’s presence. This brings them a sense of excitement, and when an opportunity comes up, they are tempted to cheat. Such women should realize that there are numerous ways to freshen up an old and tired relationship. Their boredom can be resolved with some effort. New ideas pertaining to their liking can be introduced to spice up the marriage. Speaking out their desires regarding how they would like their husbands to look, behave or speak like.
With that said, there is an important part that has to be played by men to keep their marriage intact. She loves your presence more than any other possession of yours. She wants to hear you speak, wants you to listen to her speaking, and wants you to feel her. Spend enough quality time with her; give her your complete attention. That is all she wants from you.